Worst Movies of 2017

Every year I say I am going to watch less bad movies, yet every year I have no trouble filling out this list. Read about my misery below.

10. Justice League overstepped its boundary by trying to do what Marvel has done but without doing any of the groundwork. 

9. 47 Meters Down pulls one of the lamest third acts twists of all time. Based off the information you receive at the end, it makes the entire movie pointless and makes you wonder why you watched the movie in the first place

8. A Ghost Story. I guess I just did not get it.

7. Transformers 5 continues the trend of this terrible franchise. The only reason it is so low on this list is because it was about what I expected from it.

6. Wish Upon feels like Final Destination for kids. Dumb reveals and terrible acting makes you wonder why they even bothered in the first place.

5. The Bad Batch is dangerous for your health. I almost fell asleep while watching it on a treadmill.

4. Underworld: Blood Wars was the first film in the franchise I have seen. I doubt I will go back and watch the rest.

3. Kidnap may have been number one but I fell asleep for about 30 minutes while watching it. Yet that other hour would have been bad for a TV show. The decision to put this on the big screen will forever give me hope I may have a chance in this business.

2. The Circle is perhaps the most disappointing film. The waste of such a high profile cast is one of the many reasons this movie makes me so angry. The story goes no where and the message is a little too on the nose.

1. Geostorm is close to being so bad that it is good. But no, it's just bad.

Best Movies of 2017

These are my favorite movies of 2017. They aren't necessarily the best crafted, but they entertained me the most. This past year was actually quite surprising for me personally, as many of the top blockbusters were slightly disappointing while arthouse films came out of nowhere and blew me away.

Honorable Mentions

Brawl in Cell Block 99, Shot Caller, The Shape of Water, It Comes at Night

The List

11. Molly's Game is perhaps the best written film of 2017. Aaron Sorkin's dialogue is paired by a great lead performance to make one of the best gambling movies of the past few years.

10. Brigsby Bear is a quirky little film that somehow is able to live up to its premise. Both funny and inspirational, this is a movie that comes out of nowhere to brighten your day just a little. Very underrated and I highly recommend.

9. Logan Lucky is very smart despite how dumb its characters appear to be. Think if Ocean's 11 was full of hillbillies and that is what this movie is. Gets funnier on rewatches as much of the humor can fly right over your head the first time.

8. mother! is a film that I did not expect to be on this list even after walking out of theater. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I liked and felt like it was well deserving to be here. Aronofsky is one of the best filmmakers working today.

7. Finding Frances is a great documentary about love and finding your place in the world. Although technically a TV show, its runtime allows it a spot on this list and I have a big soft spot for Nathan Fielder.

6. Logan transcends both the superhero and comic book movie genres. In a year full of both genres, this movie featured real stakes paired with heartbreaking performances, making it a must see and finding it on this list.

5. Baby Driver is a fantastic showcase of a director's singular style. From its pace to its soundtrack, this movie stands above the rest for the sheer artistry on display.

4. The Killing of a Sacred Deer is darkly disturbing and deeply thrilling. The less you know about it the better. But know that if you watch it, you may not be the same afterwords.

3. Lady Bird is perhaps the most surprising entry on this list. But its great character development and clever editing give this coming-of-age story a fresh feeling and you want to keep watching long after the credits roll.

2. Get Out is exhilarating, taking the horror genres places that it had not been for quite some time. Although social commentary is prevalent throughout, the greatness of the movie is not because of it.

1. Dunkirk is more of a spectacle than a film, but that does not diminish its overall impact. Rather than focus on characters, Christopher Nolan focuses on the strategy of the evacuation as a whole. This movie takes a war film to a place that they seldom go and is all the better for it.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

     

     Star Wars: The Last Jedi is directed by Rian Johnson (Looper) and stars Daisy Ridley (Murder on the Orient Express), John Boyega (Detroit), and Mark Hamill (Kingsman: The Secret Service). It tells the continued story of the Resistance's fight against the First Order, as well as Rey discovering her place within the force with the help of Luke Skywalker.

     The return of the Star Wars franchise in December has been a quite the new Christmas tradition. While The Force Awakens was great, Rogue One was bit of a misstep, so my expectations were slightly lower but none the less still incredibly high. And Rian Johnson behind the lens was an incredibly exciting prospect. The man behind the three of the best episodes of Breaking Bad, as well as the 2012 film Looper, taking the reigns of an episode hopefully meant something new and refreshing.

     One of my favorite parts of the new film was the expansion on the mythos within the film franchise. From a deeper dive into an exploration of the Force to new species and races of aliens and animals, The Last Jedi expands on a galaxy far, far away a lot more than previous installments had. Although more seasoned Star Wars fans may have already been privy to many of the new things, as a viewer of only the movies it was interesting to learn more about this part of the universe.

     As with any Star Wars movie, the special effects are some of the best. From space battles to island training, each visual on screen makes the viewer feel as if they are actually there to experience it. And the battle on the salt mining planet was some of the best visual effects that I have ever seen.

     Many in the cast gave standout performances. Adam Driver as Kylo Ren delivered an incredibly complex character. His arc throughout these first two movies has been fantastic storytelling and it is exciting to see where the third film will take him. Carrie Fischer delivers a poignant performance in a role tinged by real life tragedy. Hamil's real return as Luke gives an almost completely new take on the character. The 30 years in movie since Luke last appearing has really changed the character and his outlook on life. This is not the Luke you may have been expecting, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. 

     But The Last Jedi is not without its far share of problems. Perhaps the biggest being the pacing of the film. Clocking in at almost 2 hours and 30 minutes, the first hour has moments that screech the movie to a standstill. Thirty minutes could have been seemingly cut with ease. I specifically know of one storyline that did nothing to the overall arch of the story but for spoiler sake will not mention exactly what happened. 

     Whereas the new characters from the last film continued to impress with their energy and emotional layers, the new characters introduced this time around were less than stellar. Laura Dern felt completely unnecessary as Vice Admiral Holdo, almost as if there to suck the fun out of our heroes. Kelly Maria Tran was fun as Rose, but the decisions she makes are inconsequential and her character is trivial with regards to the action of the movie as a whole. Benicio Del Toro was at least trying something interesting with his codebreaker DJ, but again the choices he makes seem to go against character again and again. 

     Another problem I had with the movie was the overall tone. Each subplot seemed to have a different tone. Some deeply dramatic with world altering implications. Others comedic to the point of slapstick. Many movies are able to use the two to its full advantage, but The Last Jedi switches between the two at a moments notice leading to jarring moments. 

     Although many actors are giving outstanding performances, the top of the notch special effects, and the interesting possibilities of the expanded mythos, The Last Jedi ultimately feels like a steppingstone in-between two movies rather than a standalone film. It almost feels unfair to judge it without the knowledge of what is coming next.

When to watch it?

Dollar Theater (or maybe wait until Episode IX comes out)

Mount Rushmore of Action Stars

     Crafting a Mount Rushmore is somewhat of a cultural touchstone. When completed in 1941, I am sure naysayers arose over if those four presidents were the ones most deserving of being immortalized. Since only four people can make up the mountain, endless debate can arise from the controversy. Countless hours have been spent on sports radio discussing who makes up the four greatest NBA players. Playlists after playlists give a voice to those who want to decide on the greatest in the rap game. But today I have taken on the unenviable task of deciding who belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Action Movie Stars.
     I would say 1980 begins the era of action movies. That year is when the schlock and gore really began to amp up and create the legends we know today. On a side note, this Mount has no honorable mentions. Mount Rushmore has four presidents and this list will have four actors. Below you will find the list in no particular order.

Keanu Reeves

     Point Break alone reserves Keanu a spot on this list. From his bromance with Patrick Swayze to the iconic heists, this film highlights what makes Reeves such a great action movie star. Is he a great actor? Maybe, maybe not. But the roles he chooses are magnetic and full of dumb fun. While Point Break established Reeves as an action movie actor, The Matrix may be what makes him a full on action movie star. Smarter than your typical action film, The Matrix still delivers on fight scenes and classic lines. But let's just forget about those sequels. The resurgence of Keanu with John Wick cements his place on my Mount. Turning what could have been another throwaway action movie with an aging star into one of the best action films of this century hinged on the lead role. And Reeves most definitely delivers. And I didn't even mention Speed.

Tom Cruise

     Cruise is perhaps the most versatile actor on this Mount. And probably the best. Although his action films are a bit more serious, that does not make them any less fun. He has quite a diverse filmography, which makes the action films he chooses all the more interesting. Top Gun is his most campy, but still delivers on the emotion. The Mission Impossible franchise alone would probably get Cruise a spot on this list. The set pieces are big and brash, yet Cruise is able to bring a human side to them. This century, Cruise has focused more on science fiction action films, and has delivered time and again in Minority Report, Edge of Tomorrow, and War of the Worlds. Even some of his more serious movie, like Collateral, still give Cruise a chance to show off his action side.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

     Arnold is perhaps the most obvious choice. His name is attached to classic franchise after classic franchise, and it is hard to see anyone else pull of the roles that he does. Even though he seems to only deliver the muscles, he often conjures up genuine emotion, however subtle it may be. As the years have passed by, his stone may be beggineng to crack, but his spot is still well deserved from Terminator, Predator, Total Recall, The Running Man, Commando, Conan the Barbarian, Last Action Hero, True Lies, Escape Plan, and the Expendables franchise. Looking at it now I do not know if he will ever leave this list.

Nicolas Cage

     My Mount Rushmore would feel incomplete without the addition of Nicolas Cage. The path his career has taken is something that should be studied in colleges. When discussing the greatest movie trilogies of all time, one of my personal picks would be the unofficial trilogy of The Rock, Con Air, and Face/Off. These three movies epitomize the action genre and each one sees Cage front and center. His manic facial expressions and over the top movement helps to heighten the action on display and humanize some of the more intense moments of the films. And who doesn't love National Treasure?

So this is my list of Mount Rushmore Action Movie stars. It could possibly change but right now it is set in stone. Let me know who you would have on your list.

Nathan for You: Finding Frances

     Finding Frances is directed by is directed by Nathan Fielder and stars Fielder, William "Bill" Heath, and Cornelius Ladd. It is a documentary, telling the story of a Bill Gates impersonator's quest for finding his lost love and explores the themes of identity, purpose, and happiness.
     Nathan for You has been one of the most consistently funny shows for the past few years. Riding off the success of shows such as Shark Tank, Nathan for You has found its way onto my TV year in and year out. The premise is that a young Canadian will help struggling business owners to increase profits. But that does not even begin to tell the whole story. Rather than by following traditional strategies to maximize revenue, Nathan Fielder looks for the most extreme. And the hilarity of the situation is heightened by Nathan's deadpan approach. Comedy Central has knocked it out of the park with this show. And when a feature length finale was announced for season 4, I was excited.
     While other episodes focus on business ideas, Finding Frances focuses on reuniting a lost love. Bill Gate's impersonator William Heath recounts to Nathan about his biggest life regret: not professing his love to a woman named Frances some 50 years ago. But this simpler approach does not lead to less extravagance on the part of the show. Key scenes include creating a 47 year high school reunion and faking a sequel to the Matthew McConaughey film Mud in order to steal yearbooks from an Arkansas high school. To see the rest you just need to watch the episode.
     This finale excels in ways that the show had never previously. The comedy is still there, yet a tragedy is revealed at the same time. The exploration of what love means is fascinating. Nathan has quietly been exploring this topic throughout his seasons, but this finale expands on his ideology. Through a series of events, Fielder begins a non-sexual relationship with a prostitute. Through their conversations, Nathan begins to wonder if this is the first real companionship he has ever felt. The viewer is left empathizing with his plight to find love through this self realization. As Nathan contemplates Heath's quest for love, he begins to realize that he too is rapidly heading down this road.  Nathan's thoughts are summated in this quote from the show: “A part of me wondered if Bill was just a bored old man looking for an adventure to keep himself busy, or maybe when you prioritize your career for too long, you just become desperate for any human connection.” Through Nathan for You, Nathan himself may have lost sight of any real connection, through no fault of his own.
     Surprisingly, Finding Frances took me to place I never thought Nathan for You would, or even could. Yes I laughed out loud many times throughout the episode. But I also cared the titular character, something that many comedies struggle with. We laugh along with the characters, but we feel with them as well.

When should you watch?
Opening Night (Had this been released to theaters, I would have gone out and paid money to see it on the big screen. Thankfully, it is streaming on comedycentral.com right now)

Lady Bird

     Lady Bird is directed and written by Greta Gerwig (Frances Ha) and stars Saoirse Ronan (Brooklyn), Laurie Metcalf (Scream 2), and Timothee Chalamet (Interstellar). It tells the coming-of-age story of Christine "Lady Bird" McPherson, a teenager trying to navigate her world in Northern California.
     The hype train for this movie started all the way back in September, when it first premiered at Telluride Film Festival. Since then it has garnered nothing but positive reviews from every critic. Naturally, this had me quite excited for Greta Gerwig's directorial debut.
     I found this movie to be extremely engaging and fascinating. The longline seemed like something I would normally stray away from, yet the performances instantly drew me in. Saoirse Ronan was magnetic in the titular role. Her ability to make you feel how she felt was great. And although you do not always side with the decisions she makes, you can see her thought process and understand how she got there. Metcalf was also great as Ronan's mother. Although the two are at odds throughout the majority of the runtime, their heart for each other ultimately shines through in a beautiful way.
     The coming-of-age genre has tropes that have begun to plague it. When stories begin to follow these tropes, they become trite and boring. Yet Lady Bird manages to turn many of these tropes on their heads, leading to quite the refreshing movie going experience. Plot points I imagined going one way were abruptly sent in another direction. Small things like this left me not knowing what would happen next, a pleasant surprise in today's movie going age.
     I tried to think of something I did not like about this movie, and I could not come up with anything. I smiled. I laughed. I felt for the characters. Overall, a great movie going experience and Lady Bird is possibly one of the best films of the year.

When should you see it?
Opening Night

Dunkirk

     Dunkirk is directed by Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight) and stars Tom Hardy (Locke), Mark Rylance (Bridge of Spies), and Fionn Whitehead. It tells the intersecting stories of three different events all occurring within the same week at Dunkirk during World War II.
     Christopher Nolan's name alone will sell me on his films after he has crafted some of the best films this century. Even with few details released before the release of the film, I was still sold on seeing this movie opening weekend. It sees the reunion of Nolan and Hardy after The Dark Knight Rises and introduces British actor Fionn Whitehead. Nolan and war epic seemed to go hand in hand, so heading into the theater I was beyond ready to be immersed into whatever story Nolan had to tell.
     This film is a powerhouse of cinematic glory, but perhaps not in the way we have become accustomed to. Gone are cutaway scenes of battle hardened men bonding over a campfire, replaced by tension filled moments leaving you on the edge of your seat. Rather than focus on any one certain person or place, Nolan expertly weaves between three events: a land evacuation, a boater coming to the rescue of the evacuees, and a dog fight over the evacuation. Just as one event begins to lag, we are whisked to the action of something a little more exciting.
     Perhaps the biggest complaint I hear about the movie is lack of characters. I understand where this argument is coming from, yet I vehemently disagree. Rather than learn about the backstories of the characters, we are immersed into the world that they live in. The small victories won in such harrowing circumstances are felt within ones own soul. This is not your typical war movie, which is welcomed all the more.
     I am not one to notice the scores of a film, yet I could not help but feel the overwhelming effect of Hans Zimmer's music. It added to the tenseness of certain scenes and the overall emotion felt by the viewer. The ticking of clock can be heard throughout, adding to the unease as we hope our protagonists make it out alive. By not casting big name actors in the roles of soldiers on the beach, we as audience are unsure who will make it back to the mainland.
     Christopher Nolan adds to his impressive resume with perhaps his second greatest movie. War feels real as we are forced to live through some of the most harrowing moments with the characters as they try to survive.

When should you see it?
Opening Night

Quick Reviews: Murder on the Orient Express, Wonder, A Bad Mom's Christmas

Murder on the Orient Express

Murder on the Orient Express is directed by Kenneth Branagh (Hamlet) and stars Branagh, Daisy Ridley (Star Wars: The Force Awakens), Leslie Odom Jr. (Hamilton), along with many more award winning actors and actresses. It tells the story of world famous detective Hercule Poirot in 1920s Europe, as he seeks to unravel the murder on the train he is traveling on.

Pros

- Kenneth Branagh's mustache

- Fun first act

- Beautiful exterior shots

Cons

- Odd pacing

- Too many characters to give proper time to

- Lackluster ending

Verdict: Redbox

Wonder

Wonder is directed by Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower) and stars Jacob Tremblay (Room), Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers), and Julia Roberts (Money Monster). It tells the story of August Pullman, a middle schooler held back by facial differences, as he enters the fifth grade, putting himself into the real world for the first time.

Pros

- Great makeup on Tremblay

- Tugs on the heart strings with realism

- Interesting points of view

Cons

- Sappy in certain moments

- Lack of Owen Wilson

- Unsurprisingly some child actors turned in awful performances

Verdict: Wait a Week

A Bad Moms Christmas

A Bad Moms Christmas is directed by Jon Lucas (21 & Over) and Scott Moore (Bad Moms) and stars Mila Kunis (Ted), Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall), and Kathryn Hahn (We're the Millers). It tells of the continuing adventures of three moms, this time as they attempt to navigate the holiday season, made harder when their respective moms decide to crash the festivities.

Pros

- Fun chemistry of the cast

- Surprisingly heartfelt scenes

- Better than original

Cons

- Head scratchingly dumb character decisions

- Profanity in the place of comedy at certain moments

- Quick resolution

Verdict: Dollar Theater

Justice League

     Justice League is half directed by Zac Snyder (300) and half directed by Joss Whedon (The Avengers) and stars Ben Affleck (The Town), Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman), Ezra Miller (The Perks of Being a Wall Flower), Jason Momoa (Conan the Barbarian) and Ray Fisher. It tells the story of the Bruce Wayne enlisting the help of other superpowers individuals in order to face the greatest threat the world as ever seen, Steppenwolf.

     The DCEU has been struggling through its first four movies. Man of Steel started it off, and is arguably the best it has ever been. The following films felt very hobbled together, with no clear direction or focus. This year's Wonder Woman made it feel like it may have been getting back on track, bring promise to the future of the franchise. Justice League was plagued by behind the scenes problems, and the fact that it came out in December is nothing short of a miracle. Heading into the movie, I was optimistic but skeptical.

     To put it lightly, Justice League is a mess. Hacked and chopped to pieces, scenes feel out of place and cobbled together. Characters make decisions out of nowhere, and you cannot help but feel that a lot of exposition was cut in favor of action. The fact that $300 million was spent on this movie is incredible because none of that money is on display. The special effects are unfinished and green screen moments are so obvious it makes you cringe.

     Some positives in the movies are the moments between the members of the Justice League. Even in end-of-times scenarios, they still find time to have fun and build relationships. The only problem is that for some of these characters, it is the only character-building time we get. And there inlays the biggest issue of the film: the team up movie should not be the first time we are introduced to over half the team. Aquaman, the Flash, and Cyborg had practically no time in any movie before suddenly being put into the spotlight. A two-hour movie does not give enough time to establish all the new characters and put them into a fight to save the world.

     Is there a good movie somewhere inside of the movie we got? Possibly. Is the 120 minute movie we are given good? No.

When should you see it?
Cable